The question is how to get there. How to go from being unhappy with yourself to being content?
Build self-trust. The only way to fix a lack of trust is in small steps. What I usually do to build trust is to start with small things that I’m totally certain I can do — drinking a glass of water every day is an easy example. I want to drink more water, so I set reminders to drink a glass of water when I want to wake up. If you can keep that up for a week or two, it helps you trust yourself. Most people try to change hard stuff! So, when they fail then the trust they have in themselves is gone. Am thinking you should start with the small stuff!
- Be sensitive to your ideals. The other problem for finding contentment is that we’re constantly feeling bad about ourselves, because the reality of ourselves does not meet some ideal we hold. That ideal could come from mass media, looking at magazines and movie stars. Or it could just come from some idea about how perfect we should be. When it comes to productivity or how our bodies should look.
The truth is, the reality of ourselves is not bad, it’s only bad in relation to the ideal that we have about ourselves. When we let go of the ideal, we’re left with the reality that can be judged as perfectly great. You are a unique human being and you are beautiful in your own way. Are you feeling bad about who you are and how you did? If so, it’s because of the ideal. To recognize that takes awareness first. Take note of your ideals.
- Let go of the ideals. Once we notice the ideals, we need to stop comparing ourselves to them. Let go of the ideal. The only way to let go of the ideal is to see the pain that it’s causing in yourself and realize you want to end that pain, and letting go of an ideal that’s hurting you is self-compassion. Watch the pain. Be compassionate with yourself and stop causing pain in yourself with this process of comparing yourself with ideals.
Make room for quiet. Whether you pray, meditate, listen to nature, or even just be, allow yourself to hear what’s in your heart. Connecting with what is inside better prepares you to deal with the exterior world with calmness and peace. Give up control and release yourself to thoughts and emotions that can heal, strengthen, and even surprise you.Your inner voice often has something to say. You can best recognize that gut feeling that can act as a reliable compass once you turn off all the noisy, messy distracting sounds of life. I describe it as being “plugged in” to the positivity around me .I am not all calmness and peace all the time! In fact I have a full and often chaotic life with family and on the job! But, with a few meditation and adjustments in my thinking, I have found a season of contentment, and for that my thankfulness abounds!