Dealing with problematic relationships?

Here are some tips I believe will help you cope !

Try not to take things personally: Sometimes, people are difficult simply because of WHO they are. It might have nothing at all to do with you. Try not to take it personally taking comments from difficult people personally only makes dealing with that person harder for you.

Ensure understanding and communication: A lot of times, an argument will develop because of communication breakdowns. When someone is talking, listen carefully and make sure you understand that person’s point before you respond. Likewise, make sure the other person understands your own point.

Use appropriate phrases when needed: If you sense that a communication breakdown has occurred, address it immediately.

 Use “I” rather than “you” : Using a statement that contains “I” involves less risk than a statement that contains “you.” The first pronoun doesn’t sound like an accusation, so people are less likely to react negatively. For instance, instead of saying, “You never sent me that email,” consider saying, “I never received that email.”

Ask questions rather than make statements: Difficult people often have strong opinions. Sometimes they’re right, but other times they might be wrong. And when they’re wrong, a more effective way to point this out is to ask questions rather than to make statements. By asking questions, you might be able to help the person recognize the issues in his or her own position, with less risk of a confrontation.

Have supporting evidence in writing: Are you in a meeting and trying to make a point but getting major resistance from someone? If so, have written documentation that supports your claims.

Separate the issue from the person: Always separate the idea from the person. In particular, if you have a concern, make clear that the concern lies with the idea. Yes, the difficult person is commenting on an idea of yours separate yourself from it and look at it objectively. Criticisms of the idea will be less disturbing to you.

Be assertive: You don’t have to be a doormat, but you also need not be rude at all even when the other person is being rude. Simply stick to your facts and your arguments and remain professional.

Sometimes you politely give them a mirror: This may sound out of place but this is what i mean! Difficult people like to take the offensive, and they like to put other people on the defensive. Try turning the tables on that person. For example, if someone says, “We can’t do that,” ask, “What CAN you do?” If that person says, “We can’t be ready by that date,” ask “When CAN you be ready?” or “What factors are keeping you from being ready on that date?”

Show appreciation when appropriate: Even if someone has a difficult personality, that person can help you learn a skill or give you insight. If that happens, let the person know you appreciate it. Just be sincere.

If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.(Romans 12:8)

Enjoy a peaceful week end people ….

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