You look at us and you don’t understand us even though you were once us. We cut ourselves more than you think, we think about suicide more than you know, and labeling us angry is more convenient to you than it is an accurate assessment of who we are
The U.S. federal government has put forth the SBIRT model to identify and provide treatment services to individuals with substance disorders. SBIRT is an acronym for Screening, Brief Intervention, and Referral to Treatment.
I have often wondered what drives us. By that I mean those of us who continue day after day and year after year to work in the most difficult and draining settings, persist, and keep at it. I would bet that those reading this have had many days like
Do we really do patience well in the developing world? Eradicating extreme poverty requires resources, institutional change at macro and micro levels and time. This is good thinking! You don’t have to agree with me. I may be right though! Maybe you need to do a little thinking yourself to make sense of today’s gist.
In most developing countries patience really is a virtue and seems to be a fundamental difficulty for professionals working in the help sector who were raised in developed countries.
Development is not like rocket science, where the calculations and the resources amount, effectively, to a rocket launching and later landing. For every solution in the help sector, more issues are usually created. It is our role as social workers to identify and mitigate these issues before they happen, where possible. And the only way to have any sense of these risks is to be patient, to research, to listen.
It seems that many people in the help sector embrace the idea of changing the world or at least a small part of it without recognition of the thousands of years it took most developed communities to reach their current positions. Even when solutions to issues are apparent, such as medication for health problems, learning materials for needy children, food on the tables for the less privileged, keeping the communities clean to avoid harmful diseases and exposing the Nigerian child to such crazy environment ! There is a need to understand that communities may not be ready for this response, we need to move at their pace coupled with the truth that to achieve this we need sacrifice and resources. These issues are compounded by power structures of who will operate projects and how these will impact current hierarchical structures, but that is totally a different gist.
However, we should also acknowledge that we likely will not make a huge impact on poverty, good governance, etc. unless we use shorter time-frames which will achieve meeting the basics needs of our community to focus on the bigger picture decades down the line.
Let’s not forget that many developing communities place community above outputs. We can have all the process Indicators we want and explain to beneficiaries how we will improve their lives, but we have to understand time operates differently depending on the kind of community.
Relationships can be more important in Nigeria communities than material wealth and so time is understood differently. A meeting to secure a hundred thousand naira grant can wait for months while somebody provide a needy neighbour’s child with his or her tuition fee, with a meal or help to look after their neighbour’s baby while they work to provide for their family. That is a present concern and one with clear, tangible ramifications that can help somebody they care about. Perhaps there is a lesson in this for us all!
Urgency is always going to be an issue as NGOs are understaffed, overworked and being pulled in multiple directions by the needs and wants of all the stakeholders ! But the gist here is rather than complaining about how bad a community is, why don’t we find out how we can be a part of building a better community …..
‘Does my father exist at all even though he is still breathing and living on this earth? ’
The father figure does not always have to be a child’s biological father! Some children will have a biological father as well as a step- or nurturing father. But the gist for today is if your father is not acting the way he should or did not act the way he was supposed to in the past and even till date! Forgive him. We can’t turn back the hands of time and rewrite our childhood but what we can do is make better decisions as humans by being honest with our issues and making an effort to better our situations. The Truth SHE mustn’t forget is ‘The Creator of the Universe is always HER FATHER’
Traditionally, fathers act in a protective, supportive and responsible way towards their children. Involved fathers offer developmentally specific provisions to their daughters and sons throughout the life cycle and are impacted themselves by doing so.
Though fathers are the first men a young girl knows thus setting the stage for all the other men in her life. An increased amount of father–child involvement may help increase a child’s social stability, educational achievement, and their potential to have a solid marriage as an adult. When this relationship never occurs, we have trouble navigating our “man map” and often end up on roads we rather have not discovered. Even as grown women there are “little girls” walking around inside of us with pain and yearnings for our fathers. Such manifestation comes through promiscuity, numerous failed relationships, poor decision when dating, lack of self-worth, and insecurity to name a few.
From my own personal observations, I found out that an active father figure does play a role in reducing behaviour and psychological problems in our lives. Their children also can be more curious about the world around them and develop greater problem solving skills. Attached to this gist are photo’s of great men whom I have Learnt from ! some , I have had the opportunity to meet and some I only see on Television and social media platforms ! Though my own daddy ‘Barmi’ is in the midst of them but he did not do the work of raising me alone!
According to some interesting findings, the relationship with your dad while growing up is one of the most powerful forces in your life as an adult. The state of that relationship guides your choices in love, work and how you treat yourself .Every so often the root of failed or dysfunctional relationships, poor decision making in women or self-esteem issues plants itself as “Daddy issues” amongst women but the truth is God will place father figures along your path to guild you if you allow them and above all he himself is a father ,always loving you in spite of all your short comings.
Research has shown that children who were raised with fathers perceive themselves to be more cognitively and physically competent than their peers without a father! And you dearest, have The Almighty God, The one who was and who is and is to come! The great I am that I am. He is your Father and every other father gives account to him. He is God Alone.
Cheer up girl! God is a loving Father.